THE TEN CONVERSATIONS is actually two books in one. The title, THE TEN CONVERSATIONS, refers to the body of the book, which describes the ten most important topics a couple must discuss if they are contemplating marriage. Drawing on my experiences as a psychologist, marital therapist, sex therapist and sex educator, I describe in detail each of these ten critical issues, ensuring that couples who have the courage to investigate the strength and viability of their relationship are given the greatest and most user-friendly opportunity to do so. Further, I offer specific clinical examples of how other couples have been challenged, strengthened, and sometimes defeated in their attempts to address and resolve differences in regard to these ten critical issues. THE TEN CONVERSATIONS offers couples the benefit of professional experience and example to establish for themselves a rock solid relationship foundation!
However, THE TEN CONVERSATIONS offers more than a list of critically important issues. In addition, the book outlines what psychologists, marital therapists, and communication specialists have known for years in regard to how couples can productively (rather than destructively) talk to each other. Distilling this knowledge down to the essentials, I offer couples 15 RULES OF GOOD COMMUNICATION that every couple need practice for the rest of their lives! Consequently, although THE TEN CONVERSATIONS is specifically directed at couples who are soon contemplating marriage, it also offers a framework for a lifetime of marital stability and happiness which can be utilized by anyone in an intimate relationship. Understanding the rules of intimate communication eliminates the need for couples to find fault, to “fight about the fight,” or to see discussions and arguments become so tangential as to be unrecognizable. Consequently, THE TEN CONVERSATIONS not only tells you what issues you must talk about but how to talk about these issues in a productive, respectful, empathic, and solution-focused manner!
Byers, E. S. & Grenier, G. (2006) Premature ejaculation: perceptions of male and female partners. Journal of Sex Research, 43.
Grenier, G. & Byers, E. S. (2003). Premature or rapid ejaculation: Heterosexual couples‘ perceptions of men’s ejaculatory behaviour. Archives of Sexual Behaviour, 32, 261-270.
Grenier, G. & Byers, E. S. (2001). Operationalizing premature or rapid ejaculation Archives of Sexual Behaviour, 31, 75-84.
Grenier, G. & Byers, E. S. (1997). The relationship among ejaculatory control, ejaculatory latency, and attempts to prolong heterosexual intercourse: Trying to make a good thing better. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 26, 42-52.
Grenier, G. & Byers, E. S. (1995). Rapid ejaculation: A review of conceptual, etiological and treatment issues. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 24, 447-472.
Fisher, W. A. & Grenier, G. (1994). Violent pornography, anti-woman thoughts, and anti-woman acts: In search of reliable effects. Journal of Sex Research, 31, 23-38.
Byers, E. S., Grenier, G. & Lawrance, K. (1992). Sex education: Beyond knowledge. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 1, 141-146.
Grenier, G. & Byers, E. S. (1992). Evaluating models of premature ejaculation: A review. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 1, 115-122.
Fisher, W.A., Grenier, G., Watters, W., Lamont, J., Cohen, M., & Askwith, J. (1988). Students’ sexual knowledge, attitudes towards sex, and willingness to treat sexual concerns. Journal of Medical Education, 63, 379-385.
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Donald Cooper, MBA, CSP, HoF